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Elder Care Information |
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Just Give Them a Lot of Love and You'll be Fine
It was right about this time, 19 years ago. My wife and I were sitting in the very last Lamaze birthing class, soon to be brand new parents. I felt a wave of anxiety come over me. I had to ask the question. I raised my hand. The Nurse, her name was Dorinda, pointed at me and said, "Yes, you have a question." Did I have a question? I just knew EVERY Dad was wondering the same thing? "You have given us some great information, almost too much. I am afraid I am going to forget all this stuff?then what?" I could feel the other Dad's nodding. She smiled; she was very wise and patient. She had taught thousands of new Dads. "That's a great question," pausing for effect, she continued, "That little baby doesn't know you don't know. Just give him a lot of love, you will be fine." It turned out to be the best parenting advice I ever received. When I was a kid, maybe five years old, I have a distinct memory of my father holding my hand at Matthews Beach in Seattle. My head came up to his waist. He was a big man, 6'-4" and 240 pounds. In his day, he was an extraordinary athlete, All-State in three sports. He once scored 34 points in a Regional Final in Basketball. He started playing baseball at age 16, pitching, his Junior year in High School. He told me the following story one night in Seattle. We were sitting in the brand new Safeco Field watching the Seattle Mariners pound the Cleveland Indians. By the time he was a senior in high school; pro scouts were at every game. This was 1947 in Ravenna, Ohio. The Indians had the best pitching staff in baseball. One particular scout was enamored of my Dad. He signed a whopping $500 bonus to play for the Dayton Mud Hens, AA team. His second summer, my Dad got the call. He showed up with the scout to find the General Manager of the team, the owner, a catcher, and an empty Cleveland Stadium. He said to me with a serious tone, "Mark, I threw the best baseball of my young life. I was 19 years old and I was fast. I would guess it came in around 85 miles per hour. I was feeling good about myself. I was on. I gave it everything I had. I just knew they were impressed." After 20 minutes, the owner stood up and yelled out to me, "Okay, Bob, we are done warming up. Go ahead and show us what you got!" Up to this point while he was telling me this story, he looked straight ahead. To end the story, he turned his head, looked straight at me and said, "I knew right then I would never play in the Big Show." I was 42 years old when he told me that story. I heard a lot of stories growing up, but that was not one of them. This one was special. He was confiding in me. He trusted me. It was time to bare a little of his soul. My father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's recently. Everything is changing now. The more I learn about this insidious and horrible disease, the sadder I become. A part of this big man dies a little every day. The burden is carried by my mom. She is hauling a massive load. (for a special story on Alzheimer's, go to www.mattesonavenue.com and click on "What's New!!!" tab to read the story "When the Box is Empty") I cherish the moments I have with my dad now. I know for him, it's the 9th inning and the manager may be making that call to the bullpen any time now. Grief is a form of energy and must be dissipated somehow in healthy ways or it turns inward in the form of depression or self-destruction. Writing is how I process that grief. I have captured many memories of my father in my journal the past year. I cry tears of regret, pain, anguish, heartache, sadness, anger and sorrow. Occasionally, when I think of my dad in that empty stadium giving it all he had, I cry a tear of joy. I love my dad. Now my son Colin is grown. He will go off to college in the fall. 19 years later, that little baby got all the love I had. He is 6'-8", 210 pounds. He is on his way to The University of Alaska at Fairbanks in August to play basketball on a scholarship, a great athlete, a lot like his Grandpa. It's bittersweet. My father and son are leaving about the same time for different reasons. I think I am just going to give them each a lot love before they go. I will be just fine. Pinnacle Service Group For your FREE e-zine, go to http://www.mattesonavenue.com
MORE RESOURCES: Visionaries Unite: How the West Coast Conference on Aging is Rewriting the Future of Senior Care The Daily Scan Commentary: The monthly tab for her in-home elder care: $18,000. She can cover it, but how many others can? Los Angeles Times NTI Invests in Community Facilities for Elder Care Nunavut Tunngavik Inc. Nova Scotia Health’s Dignity of Risk Program leading change in caring for older adults living with frailty and dementia Nova Scotia Health Alumni Impact Series: Kevin Ye – Shaping the Future of Elder Care through Entrepreneurship University of Waterloo AI Companions Redefine Elder Care: 3 Ways They Fight Loneliness, Boost Safety And Scale Support Forbes Amid nursing home sector’s press for relief on immigration blockade, new bill emerges McKnight's Long-Term Care News The Care Squeeze: how to have the aged care conversation with your loved ones Australian Broadcasting Corporation Rescue work continues at site of impact near elder care facility in central Israel The Times of Israel Anglican elder care specialist and advocate named to Order of Canada The Anglican Journal Letters to the Editor: Increasingly expensive elder care ‘almost sounds like a conspiracy’ Los Angeles Times BPK student research looks to history to find a way forward for Indigenous elder care Simon Fraser University ‘What they wanted to see’: Rankin Inlet elder facility to welcome 22 residents in April Nunatsiaq News 'Don't open another bed': St. John’s doctor says there's a better way to keep seniors out of long-term care PNI Atlantic News Bay of Quinte Mohawks donate $60K each to Elder Care Home project, Belleville General Hospital Foundation Kingstonist News Health Caregiving Market to Reach US$ 250 Bn by 2032, Driven by Aging Population Growth - openPR.com Hatfield senior citizen accused of indecent assault on sleeping victim at assisted living facility, police say North Penn Now Video: How the Immigration Crackdown Threatens Elderly Care The New York Times Midlands law firm opens Aiken office, adds estate attorney Columbia Business Report Rural Nebraska town warns of Medicaid cuts’ impact on elder care KOLN | Nebraska Local News, Weather, Sports | Lincoln, NE B.C. government close-lipped on watchdog report that finds seniors care is worsening - Vancouver Sun Should we subsidize elder care more? Stockholms universitet Cracks in home care need filling NB Media Co-op A Daughter’s Cautionary Elder Care Tale The Progressive No, COVID-19 isn’t over in aged care: why outbreaks persist Aged Care Guide Experts share tips for 'Sandwich Generation' as caring costs them $18k a year — as it happened Australian Broadcasting Corporation Stretched thin: how Australia’s sandwich generation is paying the hidden cost of care Aged Care Guide Deputy urges fresh talent to fill elder care gap China Daily Elderly care highlighted at China's 'two sessions' Global Times Senior Care Product Market Size & Trends 2025-2035 Future Market Insights A Model for Elder Care? Supported Housing Offers Some Hope for the Future Center for Retirement Research 25 Common Nursing Home Problems—& How to Resolve Them Justice in Aging The Care Squeeze Australian Broadcasting Corporation Organization brings awareness to elderly care resources after incident in Warner Robins - 41NBC News Iran-China relations + China drops tariffs for African countries + Elderly-care robots Mercator Institute for China Studies Half of Kansas nursing home investigator positions are vacant. One Olathe resident dies waiting for help Johnson County Post Nursing home and elder-care residents could be hit hard by potential Medicaid cuts The Washington Post Research Groundbreakers: Dr. Roxanne Weiss Is Advancing Elder Care and Delirium Prevention The University of Utah Elder care studies to be diversified China Daily The Robot Revolution: From Assembly Lines to Elder Care – How Automation is Transforming Work and Society. Quantum Zeitgeist China to use AI in elder care as population ages: official The Economic Times Digitalization for Improving Elder Care Asian Development Bank Dual Threats From Trump and GOP Imperil Nursing Homes and Their Foreign-Born Workers Wausau Pilot & Review New long-term care home coming to Squamish BC Gov News We’re Suddenly My Difficult Mother-in-Law’s Full-Time Caregivers. It’s a Nightmare in Ways I Could Never Have Imagined. Slate Magazine Elderly-focussed health care is a demographic imperative Hindustan Times When Elder Care Is All in the Stepfamily The New York Times Elder Care Graduates in Hot Demand in China sixthtone.com A look at elder care initiatives in Northside - The Daily Tar Heel Officials strive for quality elder care China Daily - Global Edition Increasing Women's Workforce Participation in Mexico requires support for Child and Elder Care World Bank Blogs Assisted Living Locators of San Francisco: Compassionate, Inclusive Guidance for Senior Care Decisions San Francisco Bay Times |
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