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Elder Care Information |
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Just Give Them a Lot of Love and You'll be Fine
It was right about this time, 19 years ago. My wife and I were sitting in the very last Lamaze birthing class, soon to be brand new parents. I felt a wave of anxiety come over me. I had to ask the question. I raised my hand. The Nurse, her name was Dorinda, pointed at me and said, "Yes, you have a question." Did I have a question? I just knew EVERY Dad was wondering the same thing? "You have given us some great information, almost too much. I am afraid I am going to forget all this stuff?then what?" I could feel the other Dad's nodding. She smiled; she was very wise and patient. She had taught thousands of new Dads. "That's a great question," pausing for effect, she continued, "That little baby doesn't know you don't know. Just give him a lot of love, you will be fine." It turned out to be the best parenting advice I ever received. When I was a kid, maybe five years old, I have a distinct memory of my father holding my hand at Matthews Beach in Seattle. My head came up to his waist. He was a big man, 6'-4" and 240 pounds. In his day, he was an extraordinary athlete, All-State in three sports. He once scored 34 points in a Regional Final in Basketball. He started playing baseball at age 16, pitching, his Junior year in High School. He told me the following story one night in Seattle. We were sitting in the brand new Safeco Field watching the Seattle Mariners pound the Cleveland Indians. By the time he was a senior in high school; pro scouts were at every game. This was 1947 in Ravenna, Ohio. The Indians had the best pitching staff in baseball. One particular scout was enamored of my Dad. He signed a whopping $500 bonus to play for the Dayton Mud Hens, AA team. His second summer, my Dad got the call. He showed up with the scout to find the General Manager of the team, the owner, a catcher, and an empty Cleveland Stadium. He said to me with a serious tone, "Mark, I threw the best baseball of my young life. I was 19 years old and I was fast. I would guess it came in around 85 miles per hour. I was feeling good about myself. I was on. I gave it everything I had. I just knew they were impressed." After 20 minutes, the owner stood up and yelled out to me, "Okay, Bob, we are done warming up. Go ahead and show us what you got!" Up to this point while he was telling me this story, he looked straight ahead. To end the story, he turned his head, looked straight at me and said, "I knew right then I would never play in the Big Show." I was 42 years old when he told me that story. I heard a lot of stories growing up, but that was not one of them. This one was special. He was confiding in me. He trusted me. It was time to bare a little of his soul. My father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's recently. Everything is changing now. The more I learn about this insidious and horrible disease, the sadder I become. A part of this big man dies a little every day. The burden is carried by my mom. She is hauling a massive load. (for a special story on Alzheimer's, go to www.mattesonavenue.com and click on "What's New!!!" tab to read the story "When the Box is Empty") I cherish the moments I have with my dad now. I know for him, it's the 9th inning and the manager may be making that call to the bullpen any time now. Grief is a form of energy and must be dissipated somehow in healthy ways or it turns inward in the form of depression or self-destruction. Writing is how I process that grief. I have captured many memories of my father in my journal the past year. I cry tears of regret, pain, anguish, heartache, sadness, anger and sorrow. Occasionally, when I think of my dad in that empty stadium giving it all he had, I cry a tear of joy. I love my dad. Now my son Colin is grown. He will go off to college in the fall. 19 years later, that little baby got all the love I had. He is 6'-8", 210 pounds. He is on his way to The University of Alaska at Fairbanks in August to play basketball on a scholarship, a great athlete, a lot like his Grandpa. It's bittersweet. My father and son are leaving about the same time for different reasons. I think I am just going to give them each a lot love before they go. I will be just fine. Pinnacle Service Group For your FREE e-zine, go to http://www.mattesonavenue.com
MORE RESOURCES: Fayette talk spotlights elder care, dementia and serious illness care Lewiston Sun Journal Hearthstone nursing home, senior care property in Woodstock up for sale after closing doors Shaw Local Death of man trapped under bed for hours sparks closure of unlicensed CT elder care facilities CT Insider Senior Citizen Resource Fair today in Patterson Mid Hudson News AWWA announces $100,000 Grant to support Armenian elder care programs in Boston The Armenian Weekly Golden Pond touts reaccreditation, partnership with Summit ElderCare Hopkinton Independent Mental health of older adults World Health Organization (WHO) Provident Healthcare Partners Advises Elder Care Homecare on its Partnership with Rallyday Partners PR Newswire Elder Care Questions about trusts, wills, and more News Channel 5 Nashville Aging and Adult Services North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services (.gov) Commentary: The monthly tab for her in-home elder care: $18,000. She can cover it, but how many others can? Los Angeles Times Ageing and health World Health Organization (WHO) Dealbook: Rallyday Partners Invests In Elder Care Homecare; Alegre Home Care Joins Elder Care Alliance Home Health Care News Navient Honored Again for Elder Care-Friendly Workplace Policies ACA International The Rosary Team: Bringing hope to seniors in their final years Catholic News Agency Geriatrics (Older Adult Care) University of Michigan Health Trump’s Immigration Crackdown Hits Senior Care Work Force The New York Times Aging and Disability Resource Centers (ADRCs) Wisconsin Department of Health Services (.gov) New tracker finds rapid private equity expansion in elder care Private Equity Stakeholder Project PESP Duncan embraces new role at Cherokee Elder Care cherokeephoenix.org Adult Protective Services | Department of Human Services Commonwealth of Pennsylvania (.gov) Nursing researcher explores elder care collaboration and study abroad pipelines in Taiwan Purdue University UVM program connects teens with older adults in hopes of boosting the elder care workforce Vermont Public Future of some Elder Care Services programs remains uncertain, still waiting for key federal funding WTXL ABC 27 Department of Aging Commonwealth of Pennsylvania (.gov) Trump’s immigration policy shakes up the elder care sector: ‘Losing these caregivers is a profound blow’ EL PAÍS English Elder care practitioner Jade Jasken joins Essentia Health St. Mary’s-Detroit Lakes Clinic Essentia Health The Best Smart Home Devices to Help Aging in Place The New York Times Senior & Disability Services City of Oakland (.gov) main/aging ~ DHSS - Services and Programs for the Aging Population Delaware Health and Social Services (.gov) Emotional needs and service process optimization in combined medical and elder care: A TRIZ approach ScienceDirect.com As the eldercare crisis escalates, families seek help from these coaches and consultants MarketWatch Nursing home and elder-care residents could be hit hard by potential Medicaid cuts The Washington Post AI Companions Redefine Elder Care: 3 Ways They Fight Loneliness, Boost Safety And Scale Support Forbes Why Cameras Are Popping Up in Eldercare Facilities The New York Times LA Times Today: The monthly tab for her in-home elder care: $18,000. She can cover it, but how many others can? Los Angeles Times Take care: An expert Q-and-A on elder care in New Mexico Source New Mexico Living Independence for the Elderly (LIFE) Commonwealth of Pennsylvania (.gov) AWWA launches 2025 Armenian elder care grant program The Armenian Weekly Delaware County Office of Services for the Aging Delaware County, Pennsylvania (.gov) Summer heat, lack of federal funds affecting Elder Care Services food pantry Tallahassee Democrat Program of All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly (PACE) Louisiana Department of Health (.gov) Requiring Adult Children to Pay for Aging Parents' Care ElderLawAnswers Inside the astronomical cost of elder care in California Spectrum News Why So Many Seniors Can’t Afford Long-Term Care Time Magazine Unravelling the combination of medical and elderly care in China: a comprehensive policy analysis Nature A Daughter’s Cautionary Elder Care Tale The Progressive Committee On Aging Seminole County (.gov) A Model for Elder Care? Supported Housing Offers Some Hope for the Future Center for Retirement Research Roxana Ortega gets real about elder care in debut play, ‘Am I Roxie?’ Los Angeles Times 25 Common Nursing Home Problems—& How to Resolve Them Justice in Aging Elderly care: The visible and invisible International Labour Organization Senior Services Cobb County (.gov) Elder care operators settle with DA offices over inadequate staffing, background checks - Stocktonia Tips for navigating senior care in Mass. The Boston Globe |
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